Our Savior Awaits

Our Savior awaits
     the offering of our hearts
          whether it is
                     shining as gold or black as coal.

Our Savior makes no note
     of the difference-
           both of equal value
                      in His eyes.

He simply seeks the heart
       that is willing to expose
            the light and the dark.

That's our Savior
        Loving each of us the same.

What Is The Big Deal? It's Just Sex...

Recently I've been noticing several conversations about abstinence and sex before marriage.  The prevailing attitude among today's culture seems to be "what is the big deal, it's just sex--use contraceptives to protect from disease and pregnancy and you are good".  My first reaction:  "Woe unto us! The lies we choose to believe to justify our desire to behave the way we see fit.  Do we think that we can follow our desires and have no consequences?"

I hear people say abstinence is religion-based and I understand where that comes from.  We hear the church preach morality and those who do not see or understand the purposes behind the teaching take it as judgmentalism.  The church has a poor history in this area - choosing to judge instead of offering mercy and grace.  However, I believe the church does a great disservice to itself and those we are trying to reach when we try to impose Christian standards on an unbeliever.  Christians must step back and remind themselves that if the "offender" of morality is not a Christian then our standards do not apply.  The Bible was written to teach the Christian how to live and to be Jesus to the world.  Jesus came into the world not to judge but to offer His mercy and grace to those who would believe on Him.  This gives the Christian an opportunity to reach believers and unbelievers with Jesus' mercy, grace and love.

So if you are a Christian, the moral code in the Bible does apply to you--whether you like it or not.  If you are not convicted by going against the Bible's teaching, you need a checkup or you need to get back to studying your Bible.  Do you have an accountability partner?  Do you really want to pursue God's purpose in your life?  What kind of witness are you?  I hear you and NO, Christians are not perfect--we mess up a lot--but we should desire to please God and want His best in our lives.  That often means we must delay self-gratification for God's higher goal or purpose in our lives.  He will judge your disobedience and you may feel the weight of that judgment in your relationships and in your life circumstances.  But know this, He also rewards your faithfulness.  His mercies are new every morning so you can start over by repenting, receiving His forgiveness and getting back on track.

All right, now the religion-based discussion is covered and we can talk about abstinence and sex.  I agree that when the government (education system) is involved in this teaching, it often seems embarrassing and makes you feel like a number.  This subject is best taught by parents, family or a mentor because you can get one-on-one attention and can discuss all of the emotional and hormonal ups and downs that you experience.

First, abstinence is the ONLY guaranteed and foolproof way to avoid sexually-transmitted disease and pregnancy.  It is 100% effective and medically-proven.  Girls and guys, this decision can save you a lot of heartache.  Many say they just need contraceptives and that will take care of those problems.  This argument has been used since I was young - and it is no more true today than it was then (more than 30 years ago).  Secondly, contraceptives are not 100% effective and in the heat of the moment using a contraceptive is the last thing on your mind.  If you are not disciplined before you enter into the act, it's unlikely you will be disciplined in the middle of it.

Now I would like to talk to the girls out there.  Be warned.  When you allow the petting and make-out sessions, it is hard to change your mind and truth be told most will not because they don't want to disappoint the guy. And it feels good (it’s self-gratifying) at the time.  The guys are visually and physically turned on by you and you have the power to turn the temperature up or down.  If he respects you, he will follow your lead in this area.  If he doesn't respect you, then he is the wrong guy for you.  If you decide to go forward, know this and try to understand - you are more emotionally committed and invested than he is.  Guys can disconnect the emotional component during sex - I have not met one girl who is able to do that.  Sexual intercourse is an intimate act in which partners are committing themselves totally to one another.  It is not a casual act no matter what our culture says. The relationship is best protected and enjoyed in the bonds of marriage.

My admonition:  Girls and Guys, don’t let this decision be emotionally or hormonally driven.  Please make the decision to be pure and remain abstinent beforehand.  Stay committed to your decision-share your decision with a friend or mentor who can help you stay strong. You will not regret it--I promise.  This one decision can affect the course of the rest of your life.  It really is that important.